Okay, I should probably start off by saying that there are no squirrels actually attacking in this post.But there is lots of weird, possibly hostile squirrel activity.
I have a feeling it has to do with the whole 2012 impending doom thing. It is quite possible that the Mayans meant to say that the end of 2012 would result in a transition from this world age to another….one ruled by squirrel overlords, but they ran out of room. (Have you ever even tried writing on a circular surface? I used to decorate the edges of decoupaged plates that I’d give out as birthday presents and it’s hard to fit everything in sometimes. Possibly they just figured that we would get the whole squirrel connection based on squirrel behavior leading up to doomsday, or something.( Also you should note that I have no expertise in this area at all, but feel free to take this all as fact and plan accordingly anyway.)
I’m not just throwing these claims out there by the way-I do have proof(kinda).
We went for a walk on Sunday and the garden where we take walks in regularly was teeming with squirrels. There were like at least four or five of them just out in the open, all over the place. I had spotted some clusters of flowers that were full of butterflies and I wanted the girls to see so I called them over,whispering that they should walk over quietly so that the butterflies would not be frightened. This took ages because a child trying to tip toe over to you will notice every ant,beetle and bee on their way and stop accordingly. They were half way to me when we noticed that a squirrel had come up behind them and was now following quite closely.
The Goblin King was taking pictures when he noticed the squirrel and thought it was cool that the little guy didn’t seemed scared by us at all. In fact, he came over to look at the butterflies too but by this time there was no getting the girls to pay attention to them because they were all captivated by the squirrel now. Then Goblin King felt like the squirrel was trying to tell us something. And he did keep making noises, then taking a few steps and then returning to us.
“Hey I think he’s telling us to follow him. Look Lyd he is, lets see where he takes us!”
“He’s a squirrel not Lassie. Are we seriously following a squirrel? Really? Oh c’mon…fine but be careful-squirrels cannot be trusted!” I yelled after them. (At which point I’m pretty sure the squirrel gave me “the look” before continuing on his way. And of the course the girls didn’t listen because they’ve been lulled into a false security with the squirrels from Charlie and the Chocolate factory and The Chipmunks. Yes, I realize that The Chipmunks aren’t squirrels but they are like cousins and obviously in on this whole world domination thing. )
The squirrel led us to a tree where he started chattering excitedly and stretching it’s body in weird ways.
In was like charades but with a squirrel. I have no idea what the squirrel was trying to say but my husband took lots of pictures of it and took for granted that maybe the little guy just wanted to pose for some snapshots.
I started to walk away from all of them because I do not encourage showering squirrels with attention but then another squirrel dropped out of a tree and stood in my path, chattering at me. He was obviously the heavy so I walked back to my family and endured the squirrely photo session until they finished- it took way longer than it should have- probably because the squirrel was trying to test my patience, squirrels are like that.
We continued on our walk and then I started hearing a very odd noise. It was like one of those laughter in a box sounds but different. So I stopped again and wouldn’t let anyone leave until they heard it too. Of course that caused the sound to stop completely and no one believes me when I say I hear weird laughing noises anyway so everyone started walking off again. Luckily Gizmo needed her shoe tied and as I took care of that the laughter started again.
“Did you hear it? Did you hear it that time?” I asked, possibly a little too loudly, but luckily this time everyone did.
And we were even able to find out where it was coming from:
You can’t tell me that something isn’t going on here. Something to do with squirrels and you know the end of the world and stuff. Because that is an absolutely logical jump to make. Obviously.
No worries about thanking me for this warning-I feel like it’s my duty to spread the word. If not me, who? If not now-when? I’m all full of noble like that.